Waiting

We're waiting on the results of Jack's PET scan. We're supposed to know something soon, but uuggghhh. I know impatience runs in my family. My Papaw was the most impatient person I've ever known and it was comical at times. I see it in myself on occasion, but impatience in the face of something like this is inevitable. No one could sit around and calmly await news that may just send the world spinning all over again. And this feeling of complete and utter helplessness has GOT to go. It is so overwhelming and I'm just the Aunt. I watch my sister as she goes through this whole ordeal and I'm in awe. I am in awe of her strength and her patience. She has spent so many hours in the day to day grind of living with cancer. Hours upon days upon weeks in a 12x 12 room on a very uncomfortable "bed" with a very sick, cranky, bored little boy. There are only so many episodes of Phineas and Ferb one can watch before insanity starts to set in..... But not her. She decorated the room he was in for whatever holiday was most near. She washed clothes in a "community" wash room. She sat and talked to strangers in the activity room while he played. And if you know her, you know what kind of strength THAT took. But through every step of this journey, even in her weakest, saddest moments her strength was still visible. And I'm proud of her. Maybe it's something like adrenaline that just floods your body when needed. Or maybe she's just amazing.