Date Night

Robert and I are going on a date tonight. Do you know how long it's been since we went on an actual date? I can't even remember, so it's been a while. It's funny though, because now when we go out, we feel like we've forgotten something - Caroline. We literally aren't sure how to function anymore without her presence. I don't know how to walk without pushing a stroller or having an extra 26 lbs. on my hip. I also don't know how to eat without alternating whose mouth I'm feeding. I can't quite figure out if this is a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand, it seems as though I've taken to parenting quite well and life is truckin' along just fine. On the other hand, I have friends who would say "don't forget about who you are." Because one day she'll be grown and on her own, and we'll be left to function by ourselves again. And I'm trying.... it's just hard. It's very difficult to "take time for yourself" when you constantly have a little human who needs more juice or has to pee. And then you add the infant I keep all day, and the other 2 year old I keep 2 days a week, and "me time" is non-existent. I'm doing good to make it more than 10 minutes in the shower before Caroline wants me to do something for her or the baby is ready to eat, sleep, or needs a diaper. And there is only so much that Daddies can do before kids want Mommy to do it. He does as much as she'll allow and does it really well. But sometimes, in her mind, he just won't do. He really is capable of drying her hair... but NOOOOO! Mommy has to do it. He really is capable of laying by her at night while she falls asleep.... but NOOOOO! She wants Mommy to do it. It has to be me and I guess I understand that. I always wanted my mother to do everything with/for me, too. Sorry, Momma.... I get it now. You can love something more than life itself, but still want to be away from it sometimes. I really do love Caroline more than anything I've ever loved in my life, but there are days when I need a break. Sometimes I need it alone. Sometimes I need it with Robert. I don't want to forget who we are as an "us" and wake up one day next to a stranger. So we have to make time for us, even if it's few and far between. Date night doesn't come often, whether it's money, Caroline, or time, but when it does, we have to take advantage and enjoy it.