Woah.......

With the whole ordeal that our family has been going through with Jack, I have found myself questioning God. I'm ashamed to admit this, but my faith has been on the brink of nonexistence. I have been real close to writing it all off, because what kind of God would do this to a child, so is He even real? I was recently given a book called "Heaven is for Real" and I just finished reading it. If you don't know, this is a true story of a 4-year old little boy who visits Heaven during an emergency surgery that might claim his life. He recounts details from the hospital that happened while he was in surgery, and then experiences and facts from his parents' life that he was never told and could never know unless what he's saying is true: he went to Heaven and met Jesus, God, and dead family members, including a little girl his mother miscarried before he was born. This story is amazing to me, and the truthful nature of how this story is told is reassuring. It's not "preachy" or dramatic. It's straightforward accounts of stories their child told them, unsolicited, un-coached stories that he retells from his "journey" to Heaven. I'll stop there - just read the book. But this book has given me a renewed faith in God that I really needed. And I'm grateful. That may seem silly or trivial that a book, not church or bible study or a sermon, could do that. But I believe God reaches us in different ways, and this was His way for me. Towards the end of the book, the father who is also a pastor, says this: "I always wondered why the cross, Jesus' crucifixion, was such a big deal. If God the Father knew he was going to raise his Son from the dead, how was that a sacrifice?" That gave me chills and made me say "woah......." I had a conversation with my mother a few weeks ago, and that thought was EXACTLY what I said to her...... What's the big deal? He knew Jesus would be coming back before He ever sent him. So why is that such a sacrifice?? And then I felt guilty and terrified that I was going to hell for saying such a thing. When I read the same statement coming from a preacher himself, it made me realize that we all have moments in our lives when our faith is weakened. And that's ok. It's our human nature to doubt and be unsure when we don't have physical proof of something. Which is why it's called "faith." We have to put our trust and love in something that we can't see or hear, and that's hard. But this book has restored my faith that it's all real. This little boy's account of Heaven and child-like faith are awe-inspiring and makes you almost happy about death. God sent his son to earth with the knowledge that he would return to Heaven, just like all His believers will. So while we may have a stretch of time where some of us are in Heaven and some of us are still on earth, we'll eventually all be together again. It's not that I haven't always known this - it just took a little message from God to assure me that it's true. Do I think this book being given to me was a coincidence? Nope. I think it was God, placing my faith back into my hands. Thanks, God. I hear you.